2008-07-24
GUITARCHAPELAGO
lonely forever
i thought on this subject for a moment the other day and actually felt a wave of calm come across me. assuming this is a possibility, the only thing standing between me and my happiness is acceptance and embracing the concept.
i can deal with me for a while...
even though matt *is* a supertaster!
it appears that even though i feel a deep love for the boy and we share so much, i do not actually have a crush on him. this is evidenced by the presence of the love of his life next door and my heartiest reaction to that being sheer happiness for him. how strange! ...me?
aspergers
in trying to explain it to my co-worker, i looked it up on wikipedia and was kind of stunned at how closely my own brain fits into a lot of those descriptions! actually i was trying to explain my brin to sira and somehow aspergers came up. there was a quote: "use of metaphor meaningful only to the speaker" and some ideas about language interpretation that especially interested me. i find that i am often not or mis-understood when i believe to be completely coherent. i create my own vocabulary according to my feelings about words and what they represent - much like alex and his demented thesaurus in everything is illuminated.
i've also had some ocd for as long as i can remember. i count fenceposts and cars with my five fingers, i touchtype words i am thinking with my fingertips, prefer alphabetizing thousands of titles to any customer service at all! i caught myself lining up the edge of a magazine with the grout in the bathroom floor about 30 seconds after waking up today.
also i have never really enjoyed having to deal with people and am hyper ordered about many things in my life, but have learned to reconcile both those things in order to do a job. maybe a little too well...
paint by words
in examining this my brain, i have thought upon my creative writing style. i have always relished words, a love encouraged by both my parents from a young age. and my writing is usually an attempt to describe a concept using all my senses. to aptly capture the exact sensory experience in a phrase is what i try for and what ends up on the page is generally a mix between poetry and nonsense, but it all lines up for me. i remember my dad describing how an impressionist painting should look as if one had opened a window on to the scene.
guitarchapelago
inspired by our jam session the other day and the constant melodies of ukeleles, guitars and pianos next door, i picked up josh's guitar yesterday and played a bit. i sang love is a rose, california and tried a bit of the way young lovers do...that one is tricky!
taught myself some power chords for california and realized how much easier it is (especially with my girl hands) to play that way! regular chords begone! i'm hoping to do some more tonight, especially some more singing :)
and i just got a call from sheila and alison inviting me wakeboarding at her man's cottage this weekend at clear lake. I. AM. SOOOOOOOOOOO. STOKED!!!!!!!!!!
ridic.
tinteardrop at 12:44 p.m.