2009-07-22
enganoso
alright time to reclaim my life that has been property of an emotional whirlpool for the last month and a half.
not sure exactly where to begin, but i am currently trying to get over heartbreak at the hand of a charming trickster.
one week of perfect bliss, then a month of worry, gut rot, pain, hurt feelings and searing anger.
i was too blind to even write about it at the time, and now the experience has essentially been sullied, but it is reckoning day.
i need to give up all my bad habits and live for me. no more associative behavior, coffee drinking or amy winehouse listening. no more imagining what he or she are thinking or saying about me. just fucking me.
anyway i DO want to eventually write about all of this, the good and the pain. i suppose this brief nothing is just the start (at work as well), but more to come more to come.
some memory snapshots:
sitting in the dark on the sticky couch listening to sad sad songs and feeling the heat off each others bodies.
(cry to me, change is gonna come, god i know there were more :( )
wrapped up together in the afternoon, listening to each others heartbeats
me: your heart has such a pretty carrying case
him: i know, because you have my heart
giggling like a banshee and spraying his neck with kisses as he piggybacked me around town, both of us wearing complimentary basketball jerseys.
busting some ninja moves in best buy and hearing him say one of the many incredible (but not genuine) things about me:
i have never seen anyone else do that, it requires intense strength, focus and concentration
i realized, i like anna more than shayna
with her it was fun to hook up, but if, by the end of this we are still here and you would be into it, i would actually give it a try
you are more of a woman than i have ever been with, and that has nothing to do with your age
i will remember that for the rest of my life
sigh. i hope i can remember the good times, dwell on nothing and move ahead with an open heart.
tinteardrop at 11:40 a.m.