2009-12-06
deep breath
fuck just found out i almost let a HUGE due date slip by without even realizing it, but have now gotten an unexpected extension to the date i first thought it was due, so yey?
its been a weird while man! big fracas with jess that left me so rattled, but curiously and calmly ambivalent about letting that whole group of friends go. we will see what happens.
have been procrastinating like crazy and have gone to the hot tub about 5 times in the last 4 days...viva life! chris has been staying here every night and i am really happy to be around him. very wise and genuine...feels like family a little. also feels a little beautiful and attractive. i think i messed up tonight. either by being too revealing in a game of hot tub never have i ever, bringing up a painful memory of his i shouldn't have (and singling him out), or by being receptive to the crazy flirtations of robbie, this insane, tattooed recovering 20 year old who i am sort of into. for halloween last year he went as a baby covered in jelly placenta and oil. hahaha! plus he remembered i love meatless taco bell and told a story about a guy asking a girl to prom by spelling it out in olives on a pizza. swoon. we were texting all night and i think i would like to hang out with him and see what happens. tenacious little bastard.
went to chloe's jungle-themed b-day party which was odd. got my camera stolen. will this camera losing never end?? got hit on by a bunch of dudes and had a very cool conversation with a cute boy dressed as a parrot who was encouraging me to move to the city. i'm going to set those wheels in motion. met a nice hungarian guy who plied me with plum brandy and compliments. gave me his card. gyuri!
had some fun sexy times with zack yesterday. its nice to be with him. we cuddle and hold hands and he bites my neck and pulls my hair. so fucking hot. i have a boner for his roommate jackie too. she's tall and has a beautiful face and is a boggle fucking grandmaster. totally puts me to shame...i wonder if its because she intimidates me :) chris is addicted to boggle and we play it all the time, which of course rules. today we came back from the hot tub (typical) and jackie came over for a game and then matt showed up!!! he joined us and it was totally awesome. i'm so happy he's back :) what an unexpected couple of days with some happy little surprises.
still making crazy progress with good andy, although i was teary eyed last thursday. went to al-anon with bryn and chris and it was really good. i kind of felt like a poacher because i don't have anyone specifically in mind i need to deal with or help. but my dad is definitely an alcoholic and now chris and i are close, so i'm going to try and not dwell on it. the meeting made me sad though. but sad for myself i guess? and that's exactly what you are supposed to work on in there.
in other news, i'm going on a tour of the san quentin library! its in february and i think i'll be going with my old groupmates, maggie and patricia AND antonia will be there! i am beyond stoked. also thursday is the where the wild things are event in the city! must work like i have never worked before this week.
tinteardrop at 1:32 a.m.