2007-10-30
facemelting
it's been emotional lately, all this coming to terms with leaving. i've been missing damon and star, feeling anxious about details and lonesome underneath it all.
i finally finished my grad school application this afternoon, which was (like the serendipitous concept in general) easier than pie...it makes me a little less nervous and definitely more excited about the prospect.
i gave notice at work, which wasn't that big a deal after all, thank god. spent a harried couple of days frenzily biking around with my hood on under my helmet and trying to preserve my stupid hair to not look like a jerk in 2 sets of passport photos. then cunningly foiling all the u.s. governments attempts to thwart my passport getting and scoring both my us and canadian passports within a couple of weeks.
lucky for me because dad has offered to take me to camaguey for a week! no puedo creer a mi suerte...de ir a cuba otra vez, como sorpresa total, sin anthony, en un lugar nuevo, precioso y tranquilo. puedo visitar en libertad por quizas la ultima vez antes que llega la oscuridad que viene.
i facebooked the day away like a secret junky at work and received a message from good old will. turns out he's married and living in south korea and may or may not have sired a child. talk about surprises. i'm pleased, actually. i've been quite curious about him lately, partly because of my quasi sexual awakening.
it's kind of hilariously ironic, dane now "wanting" to go to asia to teach english and live out the dream will had all along and only took half a decade to pursue! anyway, his message was very impressive and honest. he seems to think we aren't on speaking terms, which i don't recollect exactly. looking back i think i was blinded by my newfound relationship with david and could have cared less about will and his misplaced feelings. no regrets. funny though, it made me realize that will is really the only guy who has loved me. that must count for something!
tomorrow is halloween. i considered going as julia child, but i don't have it in me. i went as "dead rollergirl" to the rue morgue party on saturday, which was spectacular for costumes, but lame in every other respect. i ended up at gregs, sharing a spliff and talking for a bit. it was really nice and i've been meaning to tell him that specifically...it's awesome to wholeheartedly appreciate your friends :)
also got a letter from star, not saying much in particular. i'm glad she's got things going on and seems to have found her element...and a dog! i hope to see her soon, once i come up from the golden abyss.
tinteardrop at 11:47 p.m.